There was an old woman who swallowed a fly
The song writer is clearly unaware of why the old woman swallowed a fly, and is clearly not prepared to pursue this issue further, as interesting as this exercise may be.
"I don't know why she swallowed a fly"
However, the writer has serious premonitions of doom regarding this event and states pessimistically that:
"perhaps she'll die"
The reader of this poem, may be a little surprised here that swallowing a fly could even be considered a mortal danger, however it is likely that the song writer is being flippant or sarcastic about the situation. Ironically, the situation does escalate, and this supposed flippant remark becomes more and more realistic as the song progresses.
After swallowing the fly, the old woman needlessly panics. Not being aware that eating insects is not unusual amongst many cultures of the world, the old woman believes that this foreign protein could cause much harm. We suspect that she did attend a doctor, however the doctor failed his duty by only giving credence to her irrational fears. A sensible doctor would have prescribed a placebo at this point, knowing that the old womans panic was far more dangerous than the fly, which by now was probably already digested and nourishing her with B12 and other vitamins.
The doctor in his limited wisdom comes up with the standard cure of the day to fly consumption, which is of course swallowing a live spider. We must bear in mind here that the doctor is not completely to blame. The huge industry built up around the accidental arthropod consumption phenomenon, had been heavily promoting the so called 'spider' cure, and were spending millions of dollars on breeding and genetically engineering spiders to survive the highly acidic stomach environment so that they can eradicate flies in the stomach. These millions of dollars of research were equally matched by marketing budgets to promote their arthropod cures to doctors, In fact the very writing pad the doctor wrote his script on was marketing material promoting "Arachnazac" - the definite cure to accidental fly consumption.
The doctor explained to the old woman that some side effects may occur, like 'Wiggling, and jiggling and tickling inside her', however the doctor assured her that these side effects were not something to worry about, and that getting rid of the fly was crucial if she wanted to be healthy.
The Old Woman was pleased to have found a cure for her fly in the stomach and proceeded to take her Arachnazac twice daily. For a while, all seemed fine, however she found that the side effects 'Wiggling, and jiggling and tickling inside her' were keeping her up at night, and with very little sleep her health was starting to deteriorate.
Once again, the woman returned to the doctor to explain that the side-effects were most troubling. The doctor was not perturbed because he knew that the large arthropod supply companies had foreseen this problem and had developed 'birdozen', the ornithological cure to excessive spiders in the gut symptoms. So she returned home, and now added one live bird to her daily medicinal routine.
At this stage, the farce could be complete, however the song writer has barely begun, and in summing up the situation, reminds the reader that 'Perhaps she'll die". The reader at this stage may think that swallowing a whole bird and live spiders, while absolutely ludicrous, probably wont kill you, however given the gullibility of the doctor and the old woman, perhaps there is something to the songwriters premonition after all.
Needless to say, swallowing the birds is not helping much. Being diurnal creatures, the birds ability to hunt down spiders in the dark of the stomach is highly compromised, and they only seem to be adding to the already excessive movements occurring in the stomach.
The old woman is not happy, after a few days of very poor sleep, she returns to the doctor to explain the situation. The doctor cannot really help much more, as the arthropod supply companies did not mention the side effects of taking 'birdozen', and considered this medication to be entirely without side-effects. The doctor maintains that while she can go off the 'birdozen', the jiggling, wriggling and tickling inside her will only get worse if she does. When the old woman suggests that maybe she doesn't need to take spiders anymore, the doctor is horrified, and reminds her that spiders are the only known way of preventing fly build up in the stomach, a problem that can be terminal.
The old woman then seeks further advice, some alternative doctors suggest that she should continue with her medication, but supplement them with live preying mantis to keep the spider problem down, others suggest swallowing a whole venus fly trap. Some others recommend going off all medication, but most have something to sell in their place.
Disillusioned with the alternatives, the old woman returns to the doctor, and pleads for him to find anything to help her. To the old womans delight, the doctor has found out about the radical feline treatment, that can reduce the symptons of swallowing whole birds. The old woman sells her house and travels to the US where she signs up for the radical feline treatment. After investing her life savings, she is rewarded when the continual chirping stops, however her relief turns to disappointments when the 'wriggling and jiggling and tickling inside' returns. Added to this, the cats inside her stomach start fighting and scratching, and soon she is a nervous wreck from her lack of sleep,
At this stage, the reader knows that the old woman is definitely in trouble, and while even now a return to common sense could reverse these symptoms, her state of mind is unlikely to allow for reason. She is then passed from expert to expert, who continually prescribe more dangerous animals for her to swallow, many for which the logic is quite far fetched. It may have occurred to the reader that dogs do not eat cats, they only chase them. This is likely to be a greater problem given her already stretched stomach. Finally she is given goats, cows and horses to swallow. Given that the final animals were all herbivorous, the reader must be wondering how these extremely large animals could possibly help eradicate other smaller animals, however, the continual erosion of reason, is one of the subtle themes of the rhyme.
Finally, the prophetic statement "perhaps she'll die" is proven to be true, or can at least be assumed following the swallowing of the horse. The writer is quite definitive in their opinion that the treatments were the eventual downfall of this otherwise healthy old woman, even if this wasn't stated categorically. While readers may be awaiting the coroners report, the wiser and more cynical reader will have no doubt figured out that the conclusion of the report would be that the 'old woman died from swallowing a fly', even though we know that the cause of death was indigestion from failing to chew her meat properly. The old womans death was most likely put down to the dangers of swallowing flies, however closer perusal of the coroners report would no doubt have uncovered that no fly was ever found in the stomach contents of the old woman. While some fringe medical doctors tried to point out this fact, they were mostly ignored! Industry continued promoting foods and products that help prevent fly swallowing, citing her death as a prime motivator. Soon after her death, public hysteria into the dangers of swallowing flies reached such proportions, that no man, woman or child felt safe without wearing a fly net over their head and liberal amounts of fly repellent around their lips.
"I don't know why she swallowed a fly"
However, the writer has serious premonitions of doom regarding this event and states pessimistically that:
"perhaps she'll die"
The reader of this poem, may be a little surprised here that swallowing a fly could even be considered a mortal danger, however it is likely that the song writer is being flippant or sarcastic about the situation. Ironically, the situation does escalate, and this supposed flippant remark becomes more and more realistic as the song progresses.
After swallowing the fly, the old woman needlessly panics. Not being aware that eating insects is not unusual amongst many cultures of the world, the old woman believes that this foreign protein could cause much harm. We suspect that she did attend a doctor, however the doctor failed his duty by only giving credence to her irrational fears. A sensible doctor would have prescribed a placebo at this point, knowing that the old womans panic was far more dangerous than the fly, which by now was probably already digested and nourishing her with B12 and other vitamins.
The doctor in his limited wisdom comes up with the standard cure of the day to fly consumption, which is of course swallowing a live spider. We must bear in mind here that the doctor is not completely to blame. The huge industry built up around the accidental arthropod consumption phenomenon, had been heavily promoting the so called 'spider' cure, and were spending millions of dollars on breeding and genetically engineering spiders to survive the highly acidic stomach environment so that they can eradicate flies in the stomach. These millions of dollars of research were equally matched by marketing budgets to promote their arthropod cures to doctors, In fact the very writing pad the doctor wrote his script on was marketing material promoting "Arachnazac" - the definite cure to accidental fly consumption.
The doctor explained to the old woman that some side effects may occur, like 'Wiggling, and jiggling and tickling inside her', however the doctor assured her that these side effects were not something to worry about, and that getting rid of the fly was crucial if she wanted to be healthy.
The Old Woman was pleased to have found a cure for her fly in the stomach and proceeded to take her Arachnazac twice daily. For a while, all seemed fine, however she found that the side effects 'Wiggling, and jiggling and tickling inside her' were keeping her up at night, and with very little sleep her health was starting to deteriorate.
Once again, the woman returned to the doctor to explain that the side-effects were most troubling. The doctor was not perturbed because he knew that the large arthropod supply companies had foreseen this problem and had developed 'birdozen', the ornithological cure to excessive spiders in the gut symptoms. So she returned home, and now added one live bird to her daily medicinal routine.
At this stage, the farce could be complete, however the song writer has barely begun, and in summing up the situation, reminds the reader that 'Perhaps she'll die". The reader at this stage may think that swallowing a whole bird and live spiders, while absolutely ludicrous, probably wont kill you, however given the gullibility of the doctor and the old woman, perhaps there is something to the songwriters premonition after all.
Needless to say, swallowing the birds is not helping much. Being diurnal creatures, the birds ability to hunt down spiders in the dark of the stomach is highly compromised, and they only seem to be adding to the already excessive movements occurring in the stomach.
The old woman is not happy, after a few days of very poor sleep, she returns to the doctor to explain the situation. The doctor cannot really help much more, as the arthropod supply companies did not mention the side effects of taking 'birdozen', and considered this medication to be entirely without side-effects. The doctor maintains that while she can go off the 'birdozen', the jiggling, wriggling and tickling inside her will only get worse if she does. When the old woman suggests that maybe she doesn't need to take spiders anymore, the doctor is horrified, and reminds her that spiders are the only known way of preventing fly build up in the stomach, a problem that can be terminal.
The old woman then seeks further advice, some alternative doctors suggest that she should continue with her medication, but supplement them with live preying mantis to keep the spider problem down, others suggest swallowing a whole venus fly trap. Some others recommend going off all medication, but most have something to sell in their place.
Disillusioned with the alternatives, the old woman returns to the doctor, and pleads for him to find anything to help her. To the old womans delight, the doctor has found out about the radical feline treatment, that can reduce the symptons of swallowing whole birds. The old woman sells her house and travels to the US where she signs up for the radical feline treatment. After investing her life savings, she is rewarded when the continual chirping stops, however her relief turns to disappointments when the 'wriggling and jiggling and tickling inside' returns. Added to this, the cats inside her stomach start fighting and scratching, and soon she is a nervous wreck from her lack of sleep,
At this stage, the reader knows that the old woman is definitely in trouble, and while even now a return to common sense could reverse these symptoms, her state of mind is unlikely to allow for reason. She is then passed from expert to expert, who continually prescribe more dangerous animals for her to swallow, many for which the logic is quite far fetched. It may have occurred to the reader that dogs do not eat cats, they only chase them. This is likely to be a greater problem given her already stretched stomach. Finally she is given goats, cows and horses to swallow. Given that the final animals were all herbivorous, the reader must be wondering how these extremely large animals could possibly help eradicate other smaller animals, however, the continual erosion of reason, is one of the subtle themes of the rhyme.
Finally, the prophetic statement "perhaps she'll die" is proven to be true, or can at least be assumed following the swallowing of the horse. The writer is quite definitive in their opinion that the treatments were the eventual downfall of this otherwise healthy old woman, even if this wasn't stated categorically. While readers may be awaiting the coroners report, the wiser and more cynical reader will have no doubt figured out that the conclusion of the report would be that the 'old woman died from swallowing a fly', even though we know that the cause of death was indigestion from failing to chew her meat properly. The old womans death was most likely put down to the dangers of swallowing flies, however closer perusal of the coroners report would no doubt have uncovered that no fly was ever found in the stomach contents of the old woman. While some fringe medical doctors tried to point out this fact, they were mostly ignored! Industry continued promoting foods and products that help prevent fly swallowing, citing her death as a prime motivator. Soon after her death, public hysteria into the dangers of swallowing flies reached such proportions, that no man, woman or child felt safe without wearing a fly net over their head and liberal amounts of fly repellent around their lips.
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