The Parable of the good politician
But the man wished to justify himself and asked "So who is my neighbour?"
So Jesus told them this parable.
Once upon a time a man was walking down the road when he was set upon by his own government. They demanded that he stop telling lies about them, then tortured him and then drove him down the road to leave him to die in a ditch. Not long after a Coalition politician walked passed. The beat-up man asked for help, but the Coalition politician stared at him in fear, then said
"If I help you, then it might encourage other people to beg for help - no the best thing I can do for you is send you back to the people who beat you up, that way other people will learn from your example"
Then the Coalition voter walked on leaving the man groaning in pain.
Next came along a Labor politician. The dying man thought he was saved. The Labor politician noticed the man needed help and was about help, but then had second thoughts, he thought that the Coalition politician may still be watching and changed his mind. He said,
"sorry mate, I cannot help you, as that will only encourage more people to beg for help, and I am not even sure if you genuinely do need help. Are you sure that is real blood there and not sauce?"
And so the Labor politician walked on to leave the man to die in the ditch.
Not long after that a Green politician was walking down the road and saw the man dying in the ditch. The Green politician had to put down his soy-latte and kneeled down to talk to the man. The dying man thought he had at last been saved. The Green politician said:
"It is terrible what those two people before you did, in leaving you to die there in the ditch. It is totally uncool and contravenes all agreements about helping dying people"
"Please just help me..." cried the dying man.
"In fact I am so disgusted by what they did, I think I might start a petition on one of those petition websites - you know the ones, where you can start your own petition, and I will let everyone know on my facebook page how much I am into helping people who need help"
"Please, I could even drink that soy-latte I am so desparate" cried the dying man.
"So are you a muslim buddhist or something? do you need to face Mecca when you die, as I do want to be culturally sensitive and all"
"Can you just shut-up and take me to a hospital?" cried the dying man.
"No, you don't want any of the modern western medicine man, my aunt had cancer and went on a green tea diet and she got better - you don't need that capitalist macho bull***, you need some homeopathy, or some reiki, or that stuff that Vulcans do on Star Trek"
"Please go away" cried the dying man..
"You know what, can I quote you on my next blog, I am planning to write about how people like you are real people with real needs"
"Please let me die" groaned the dying man.
And so the Green politician rambled on and on, and by the time he had made a convincing conclusion that Vinyl sounds better than CDs the man in the ditch had died. The Green politician, realising that he was late to the refugee action group fund-raising dinner, left the dead man with a Green pamphlet and quickly rode his fixy-bike into the inner CBD.
And so, Jesus concluded, who was the good neighbour to this dying man?
The disciples looked at each other questioningly. At last Thomas spoke up, "For freakin sake Lord, can't you go back to those parables with simple obvious conclusions"
So Jesus told them this parable.
Once upon a time a man was walking down the road when he was set upon by his own government. They demanded that he stop telling lies about them, then tortured him and then drove him down the road to leave him to die in a ditch. Not long after a Coalition politician walked passed. The beat-up man asked for help, but the Coalition politician stared at him in fear, then said
"If I help you, then it might encourage other people to beg for help - no the best thing I can do for you is send you back to the people who beat you up, that way other people will learn from your example"
Then the Coalition voter walked on leaving the man groaning in pain.
Next came along a Labor politician. The dying man thought he was saved. The Labor politician noticed the man needed help and was about help, but then had second thoughts, he thought that the Coalition politician may still be watching and changed his mind. He said,
"sorry mate, I cannot help you, as that will only encourage more people to beg for help, and I am not even sure if you genuinely do need help. Are you sure that is real blood there and not sauce?"
And so the Labor politician walked on to leave the man to die in the ditch.
Not long after that a Green politician was walking down the road and saw the man dying in the ditch. The Green politician had to put down his soy-latte and kneeled down to talk to the man. The dying man thought he had at last been saved. The Green politician said:
"It is terrible what those two people before you did, in leaving you to die there in the ditch. It is totally uncool and contravenes all agreements about helping dying people"
"Please just help me..." cried the dying man.
"In fact I am so disgusted by what they did, I think I might start a petition on one of those petition websites - you know the ones, where you can start your own petition, and I will let everyone know on my facebook page how much I am into helping people who need help"
"Please, I could even drink that soy-latte I am so desparate" cried the dying man.
"So are you a muslim buddhist or something? do you need to face Mecca when you die, as I do want to be culturally sensitive and all"
"Can you just shut-up and take me to a hospital?" cried the dying man.
"No, you don't want any of the modern western medicine man, my aunt had cancer and went on a green tea diet and she got better - you don't need that capitalist macho bull***, you need some homeopathy, or some reiki, or that stuff that Vulcans do on Star Trek"
"Please go away" cried the dying man..
"You know what, can I quote you on my next blog, I am planning to write about how people like you are real people with real needs"
"Please let me die" groaned the dying man.
And so the Green politician rambled on and on, and by the time he had made a convincing conclusion that Vinyl sounds better than CDs the man in the ditch had died. The Green politician, realising that he was late to the refugee action group fund-raising dinner, left the dead man with a Green pamphlet and quickly rode his fixy-bike into the inner CBD.
And so, Jesus concluded, who was the good neighbour to this dying man?
The disciples looked at each other questioningly. At last Thomas spoke up, "For freakin sake Lord, can't you go back to those parables with simple obvious conclusions"
